


Maybe there is some good in the world.

by rosemacc



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-11-23
Updated: 2013-12-29
Packaged: 2018-01-02 10:53:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,986
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1055927
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rosemacc/pseuds/rosemacc
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Castiel saved Dean from the pit, but never came back. He returned to Heaven and stayed there, leaving Dean wondering who, or what, saved him from Hell.  Now, the elder Winchester is in danger and Anna is trying to convince Castiel to save a man he doesn't know.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prayers

**Author's Note:**

> The first few chapters of this will be a little short because I'm typing everything up on an iPod, so bear with me.

Anna watched down as the elder Winchester whispered his brothers name to make sure he was asleep just as he did every night.

"Sammy?" Deans gruff voice called through the dark silence of their room. When he got no answer he quietly crawled out of bed and went to the bathroom of whatever motel they were staying in and splashed water on his face. He grabbed a towel and wiped off the water, looking in the mirror at the tired, broken man before him. He hasn't been able to sleep in weeks, no matter what he does all he sees is Hell. Every time he closes his eyes, around every corner, all he saw was the pain, the torture, and his own enjoyment in giving it out. Dean grasped either side of the sink. He hung his head and clenched his jaw. "Whoever got me out, thank you. I hope you're hearing this, but please give me a sign. I don't know why you got me out and a sign would be..awesome."

 

Anna listened to the mans pleas every night, and saw the pain on his face all the way from Heaven. Dean believed he _deserved_ to be in the pit, that he wasn't _worthy_ of being saved. Who thinks that way? Anna waited for Dean to leave the bathroom and lay down on his bed before she stood up from her bench to go visit Castiel. 

 

Cas heard a faint knock on his door, he knew who it was already. He got up without a sound and unlocked the door, letting the girl in. She has been visiting him once a week to tell him about the goings on on Earth. Something was off about her tonight, he could sense a certain energy coming off of her.

"Castiel, do you remember the man Zachariah sent you to save from the pit?" Anna asked, uncomortably shifting in her seat. They rarely discussed garrison matters, so this felt out of place.

"Dom...no, Don...right?" Castiel said after a moments pause. He hadn't thought about that man in over a month, he barely ever cared to remember anything about the missions he's sent on.

"For the twelfth time, its _Dean._ Dean Winchester," Anna sighed. She never understood Castiel's nonchalant ways. "I don't understand why you aren't more interested about a person you needed to save from Hell."

"They were orders, Anna. I followed them and now I'm back here," Cas answered, shrugging. They _were_ indeed just orders, and that's all Castiel did. He followed orders.

Anna wouldn't give up, she needed Castiel to understand why this was so important to her, why Dean Winchester _mattered._   She mustered up as much courage as she could before speaking. "Dean, he prays _every night_ ," Anna started. "He denounces God, believes there is no good in the world, but _every single night_   he makes sure his brother is asleep and says 'If you're up there, thank you, and give me a sign as to why.'" Anna looks Cas hard in the eye. "Cas, he prays to _you_ every night and you don't even care."

"Why should I care about I man who sold his soul to a demon?" Castiel shook his head, getting slightly agitated with the girls incessant pestering. "They were orders and I followed them, nothing more. We have training in the morning, so I'd like to get some rest, I'm sorry, Anna." 

Anna nodded curtly as she got up from her chair. "Goodnight Castiel," She spoke as she headed towards the door.

Cas watched as the door closed behind her, feeling sorry for the girl. Her sympathy for the humans is barely tolerated in the garrison and could get her rejected. Even so, this Dean Winchester piqued his interest. Why would he be so grateful to whoever got him out of Hell? Just so long as he's out he should be happy, right? This man sold his soul, and for what? Castiel didn't know. He didn't care either, but tonight he turned on his ears and listened for the prayers of Dean Winchester.


	2. Are you my brother?

Dean gasped as he sat up abruptly, waking up from the same dream he had every night. He never really remembered the dreams, but he always woke up with the same feeling: an anxious stomach, a burning headache, and the inherent need to breathe as his lungs wouldn't bring in any air. The dream would come back to him throughout the day in flashes, but he could never differentiate between the dreams and his own memories. Dean could only really tell they were dreams when his mom, or Sammy was in Hell with him. He hated those, and when one of those flashed into his head he wouldn't sleep for days.

Dean got up and got dressed, shrugging on his jacket. He peered at the clock, it was five in the morning. Dean grabbed the keys to the Impala and snuck out of the room, returning an hour later with breakfast for he and his brother. Sam was still sleeping when Dean arrived back, so he threw a pillow at him.

"Sammy, wake up! I have breakfast burritos," Dean called, plastering a happy face on as the younger Winchester sat up.

"Six o' clock," Sam grumbled as he tried to remedy his bedhead. "You woke me up at _six o' clock_. Why are _you_ even up?"

"There are cases around here, Sammy. Its time we found them," Dean answered, taking a big bite of his burrito. He wanted to spit it right out, food just didn't taste right. If he were honest with himself, Dean couldn't even think about food without wanting to die, but he had to try to act normal for Sam's sake.

Sam got out of bed and took the burrito Dean held our for him. He sat down at the table and opened his laptop, searching through all the news websites for a case. He took a big bite of food before speaking. "This sounds like a demonic possession," Sam sighed, "This woman, Mary Ryder, was seen killing her neighbor by tearing him apart with her bear strength. And an eyewitness says he swears the woman had black eyes."

Dean nodded, taking one more bite of his food before throwing it away. He was having a hard time acting normal when he really didn't feel like himself. Dean could physically feel his health draining. Sam could outrun him, he couldn't eat, he barely slept, he could barely think. The only thing that was staying constant in his life right now was hunting. The elder Winchester had lost a significant amount of weight since he got back from Hell, and it was making him weak. He wanted to talk to Sam about it, but he felt like something was different about Sammy since he got back. Dean couldn't tell when his younger brother was telling the truth or not.

"You alright?" Sam asked, motioning towards Dean.

"Just..zoned out, you know?" Dean smiled, lifting his chin up a little. He didn't know if he was just being paranoid or if something actually was wrong with Sam. He just felt like his brother was always off talking on his phone and then denying it.

Sam got dressed as Dean packed together all of their gear. The older Winchester glanced around the room before shutting the door, an eerie feeling passed through him, as if this would be the last time he needed to keep up his happy fascade. He only snapped out of his daze when he realized that Sam was talking to him.

"..of the killings right?" Sam finished off his sentence.

"Uh..yeah..aweseom," Dean smiled fakely, making a face after his brother looked away. He felt bad for Sam, Dean was always too focused on his own thoughts to think about what Sam was saying. "So, where is this demonic posession anyway? Anywhere close?"

"Not at all," Sam yawned, shutting the door to the Impala. "Its all the way in Little Creek, Minnesota."

The brothers started down the road to Little Creek and arrived at the Moonlight Motel just after sunset. They checked in and Sam got the details on the murder from the county newspaper, and found out where Little Creek County Jail is. The men put on their suits, grabbed their fake ID badges and drove to the jail. 

"What can I do for you gentlemen?" A man in a beige uniform asked when he saw the boys approaching. "I'm Sheriff John Collins."

"I'm agent Jones, and this is my parnter agent Colbert," Sam spoke, showing the man his badge. "We're here to investigate the Carlheim murder." 

"Right this way," Collins said as he led the boys down a hallway towards the morgue. "The evidence room is down the hall, second door to the right. I'll leave you boys to it." 

Dean smiled at the man as he left. "Alright, so I'll take the evidence and you can stay and check out the stiff..or the pieces of him."

"Dean, wait, hold on a minute," Sam called at his brother. "What's up with you? You've barely eaten anything today, you look like crap, and you've been super gung-ho about going on cases since you got back."

"So now its a bad thing I want to go on cases?" Dean retorted, clenching his fist. "So what if I want to spend some time with you and save some people while I'm at it?"

"I just don't think this is actually about saving people, Dean. I think you're trying to make up for whatever happened in hell or to thank whoever got your ass out," Sam said matter of factly. 

Dean slammed his fist on the counter. "Dammit Sam! Can't I just want to gank some evil sons o' bitches?" He knew he was lying, Sam hit it spot on. Dean felt awful for giving in to Alastair when he was in Hell, and he felt like whoever got him out wanted him to do some good for the world.

Sam groaned as he watched Dean leave the room, fuming and angry. He knew  _something_ was wrong with Dean, but he also knew Dean was smart enough to realize something was wrong with him too. Sam pulled out his phone and called Ruby.

"Hey," Sam breathed happily. "I miss you too." There was a pause as Ruby talked. "I really need some more Rub, I'm going insane." Another pause. "I don't know. Dean's back now, so I barely have time to think for myself, let alone figure out a good excuse to tell my brother why I'm working with a demon." A pause. "You know how he is, he'll go off the handle. I mean, I could probably send him on a wild goose chase at some point soon." Another pause. "I don't know about that, he just got back from Hell like a month or so ago...I don't want to ditch him just yet." Sam heard a rustling noise and almost dropped his phone. "I gotta go." Sam hung up the phone just in time for Dean to walk through the door. 

"I've got squat," Dean sighed, clenching his jaw. "I don't really know what evidence we need! If we our holy water on her and she sizzles then we exercise her." 

"Uh..yeah," Sam trailed off, amazed. He never got away with anything, and especially not with Dean. "Lets interrogate her and figure it out."

The pair walked down the hall towards the interrogation room. Dean didn't know what to say to his brother, his words were running though his head. 'I don't want to ditch him just yet.' Dean shook his head, trying to forget everything he heard. He didn't want to believe it, but he had heard it come out of Sam's mouth. It sent shivers down his spine. Right before they reached the interrogation room Dean saw a table with cups of water on it and smiled, pulling out his flask of holy water. 

Sam and Dean walked into the room and Dean put the glass of holy water on the table. Sam stood in the corner of the room, rustling the paper with the exorcism on it in his pocket. 

"Mrs. Ryder, we'd like to ask you a few questions," Dean said, tensing his shoulders and then relaxing them. "Why did you kill Mr. Carlheim?"

"I--I didn't kill Rick...he's my neighbor! Please believe me," Mary pleaded, getting very upset.

"Did you  _enjoy_  ripping dear old Rick to shreds?" Dean persisted, playing the bad cop. He slammed his hand on the table, causing the woman to cry. "Just admit it!" 

"That's enough Colbert," Sam interjected. He sat across from Mary. "I'm sorry, Mrs. Ryder. Agent Colbert is very..." He made a face to convey his message. He handed the woman the glass, and she took the cup graciously.

"Thank you, Agent Jones," Mary sniffled, putting the glass to her lips. She took a sip, immediately spitting it out as smoke steamed out of her mouth and skin. "You damn boys fooled me, huh?" The demon cackled. "You must be the Winchesters. How nice to see you, Dean. How was Hell?" 

Dean hit the lights, revealing a glow in the dark demon trap on the floor below the womans seat. "Who got me out of Hell, dickbag?" Dean demanded as he sprayed more holy water on the demon. 

"Why should I tell you?" The demon laughed hysterically, hissing when Dean pours more holy water on it. "Oh and Dean, I hear that you like torture.." 

At that Sam started the exorcism. "Exorcizamus te, omnis immundus spiritus,"

"You should have been there when I killed the poor bastard," the demon grinned, squirming as Sam spoke.

"Shut up!" Dean growled as the demon continued to taunt him. 

"Omnis satanica potestas, omnis incursio infernalis adversarii," Sam continued, causing the demon to shreik.

"Alastairs looking for you Dean!"

"Omnis legio, omnis congregatio et secta diabolica." Sam finished and the demon smoked out and went back to Hell.

~~~

Dean closed his eyes and clenched his fist on the wheel. "For the millionth time, I don't want to talk about Hell! Just let me drive."

"All I'm saying is that maybe talking to someone about it would help you out," Sam grumbled, obviously annoyed with his brothers stubbornness.

Dean pulled into the motel and parked the Impala. "I'll talk about it when I'm god-damn ready to talk about it, Sam." 

At this Sam threw his arms up in the air and got out of the car. He and Dean entered the room silently, neither wanting to talk to the other. Dean jumped into his bed and turned out his light. "Let's get some shuteye, we'll have more cases soon enough."

Dean waited for the clock to chime three times before he sat up. "Sammy, you up?" 

When he got no reply he silently got out of bed and shrugged on his jacket. He looked at his brothers bed one last time before shutting the door behind him

"I'm sorry, Sammy," Dean said to himself as he climbed into the Impala and drove to the only place he could think of: Bobby Singer's.


	3. Something big

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In my headcanon the angels are able to sleep and have feelings and do humanly things in Heaven because its their home and they belong there. So, yes, there will be slightly OOC!Cas in this chapter, I apologize. 
> 
> Also, I'm sorry its taken me so long to update! I've literally been working every single day of Christmas break..yeah. Well. Enjoy!

Castiel rose from bed before his alarm clock went off, just as he had been for the past few days. This always happened when something was bothering him. Like always, there were an array of things that could be bothering Castiel, but the one in particular is Dean Winchester. Actually, the lack thereof. When Anna came to visit him a few days ago she said that Dean prayed to him every night, but all week Cas hasn't heard a single prayer. He saw no reason that Anna would lie to him about this, but it concerned him. Castiel took a shower and got dressed; it was still far too early to go to the board meeting. He silently left his room and decided to walk around for a while before going to meet up with Zachariah. He was exiting the building when he heard Anna speak to him in his mind. 

"Castiel, you need to find me. I have so much to tell you, it’s really important! I'm in the courtyard." 

"Anna, what do you need?" Cas asked when he appeared in the courtyard. 

"There's a lot to go through..." Anna trailed off, not really sure how to start. "It may take some time to explain, you should probably sit down." 

"Alright...” Castiel sat hesitantly, not really sure what Anna could tell him that would take that much time. 

"Alright," She started. She didn't know how to tell him about everything, especially  _how_ she learned it. "Well, I found a book with your name on it in the archives. And, it has a lot of information about you that...I don't even think you know." 

"A book?" Castiel asked rigidly. Anyone below archangel status wasn't allowed to go into the archives, and especially wasn't allowed to take anything away from them. " _How_ exactly did you get ahold of this book?" 

"I had some help," Anna could see the discomfort in Castiel's figure. "Can I ask you a question before I continue?" Castiel grunted and nodded. "How many times have you been to Earth, Cas?" 

"You know the answer to that, Anna." Castiel was starting to get defensive. "Once. I've been to Earth once." Castiel was getting confused, why would Anna ask that question? She was there when he got the news that he was going to Earth to return Dean Winchester there; she knew how excited he was to get his first mission to Earth. 

Anna frowned, hugging the book closer. She was obviously getting uncomfortable. "Do you know a Naomi?" 

"Naomi?" Castiel frowned. "I've never heard of such a person." He was starting to get agitated. Why couldn't Anna just tell him what was going on? 

"Castiel...I don't know how to tell you this...but, you've been to Earth....many times," Anna sighed, opening up the book. “You went down when Moses sent to plagues, when Jesus rose Lazarus, when Jonah was in the whale’s stomach, and a few other times."

Cas felt sick. His head was spinning and he didn't know what Anna was talking about. There was no way he had been to Earth before, absolutely no way, and if he had been to Earth, why couldn't he remember? But there, right in front of him, was a file of all of his doings on the planet. "Can I see that book, Anna?" 

"Cas, I don't think that's a good idea," Anna replied. She could tell that Cas was going to go crazy if he read the book. She hugged the book tightly to herself. 

"Just let me see the book," Cas grabbed for the book, realized what he did, and straightened up. "I apologize, I just..don't know what you're talking about." 

"I'll explain it to you, I promise, right now just isn't the time," the girl smiled, she loosened her grip on the book. 

Castiel looked at his watch and realized that he was going to be late for the board meeting. He disappeared quickly and Anna was left dumbfounded. By the time Anna recovered from the shock of Cas leaving and made her way to the meeting Castiel was on top of Zachariah, demanding to know why he couldn't remember anything. 

"Castiel," Zachariah spoke slyly. "If your memories were swiped, don't you think it was with reason? It means that there was something that you did, or something wrong with you that we  _had_  to erase them. Do you  _really_ want to know something like that?"

"I deserve to know  _everything_ about myself," Castiel spoke sternly. "There is no reason for me  _not_ to know." 

"There was a fault in you, Castiel," Zach frowned. "It's _so persistent_ in you that we have had to erase your memories more than once.”

Castiel’s cheeks flushed, he was getting angry. Why didn’t _anyone_ understand what was going on? He had had his _memories_ taken from him, the things that he relied on when he was upset, the happy times, the sad times, the things that made him know he was _real_. Were they all fake? He didn’t know, but he needed to.

“We have rehabilitated you, Castiel, and now you’re fine,” Zachariah said, smiling in his debonair cut-your-throat way. “You’re the top of your class, we’ve sent you back to Earth as a trial run, and you passed. Why are you taking this so harshly?”

Castiel stood, backing up a few steps from the archangel, not really wanting to hear anything he was saying. All he wanted was his memories back. He wanted to know what could have been so bad or wrong in him that he needed to have his memories taken from him. The anger Cas felt earlier was rising through his body, he could feel his temperature rising, and the god-awful sense of power it gave him was nearly sickening. By the time the feeling reached his throat he let the angel blade slip from his sleeve into his hand, at this rate he would kill Zachariah before any good would come out of this. Castiel’s ears rang as he raised his hand, holding the blade tightly. He could see Zachariah pleading for his life, but he didn’t care. All he felt right then was the power and the anger rushing though him. He saw Anna out of the corner of his eye, crying out and holding the book tightly to her chest. He raised the blade a little higher and slammed down. He straightened himself and there, in the wall right next to Zachariah’s head, was his angelblade. Anna gasped and a bright white light was emitted from the book, when the light died down, the book was gone.

“Where did the book go, Anna?” Castiel asked, a slightly crazed undertone to his voice.

“Th-the-the script on the inside of the book s-s-said that in times of danger the book would go where its host is needed most,” the girl stammered out. She looked Zachariah, who was sitting where he had almost been stabbed, dumbfounded and silent. By the time she looked back at Castiel, he was gone.

~~~

Cas rummaged through his room looking for anything to give him a sense of stability. He found a piece of wood he took from Earth when he returned Dean. It was plain, but Castiel loved the stripes that were in it. He liked that each stripe meant a different time for the tree. He wondered how many stripes he had. This piece of wood was the only thing Castiel considered _his_ , and that made it special to him. In the midst of his fumbling around his room Cas heard a faint, gruff voice.

“Hey, um, I know getting me out of Hell probably wasn’t something you necessarily wanted to do, and I’ll stop bothering you after this,” the voice broke off. Castiel could hear the pain and sadness in the man he saved. “If you could give me a sign. Anything to help me figure out what I’m supposed to be doing…anything to just show me I’m not crazy for praying all the time. Just..thanks.”

Castiel couldn’t stay in Heaven, not after what he just did to Zachariah. And in all reality he felt sympathy for the elder Winchester boy, so that was the moment he decided what he was going to do. He needed to be quick, Cas knew Zachariah would have his men ‘take control’ of the situation soon. He slipped the piece of wood into his pocket and closed his eyes. He appeared on the side of the road, feeling empty, just as the last time he was on Earth. Now all he needed to do was give Dean the sign he was looking for. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for any typos, I edited this after a 14 hour shift, so don't judge :P


End file.
